Fuck immortality

Living forever seems appealing? Would you seize the day or live forever procrastinating and bitching to endless lines of people? Would you become all knowing or the same faking intelligence dumb ass you are now? Would you forget your first loves name? Would you grow weary of living forever and end up killing yourself?

Who knows right? It’s hard to say with this useless fucking question because it’s not going to happen! There is one thing that will happen, there’s one thing as sure as the fact the sun will rise and set, day will become night, light to dark….. YOU WILL DIE! You’ll live and you’ll die…. I can guarantee you’ll be a lot longer dead than Alive too.

So what now? Now that the obvious has been well and truly pointed out, where do we stand? Well the obvious is to live for the moment! But what a freaking cliche! I’m not buying into that hippy preachy bullshit.

I think I’d like to leave a mark, I’d like my life to be purposeful, I’d like to be remembered…. but let’s be honest that’s unlikely to happen…. Matt will not be remembered… no one will look at this stupid scribbling in the year 2118.

I guess kids are a good way to start, my genes will be passed on again and again, I’ll be remembered even if just by one person…. is that enough?

I loved before and I’d like to love again, I felt like my life had purpose in a way I don’t anymore, I lived for the love… and I lived for her happiness, that might be nice to have again?

I guess that’s worth exploring? Let’s be honest no one remembers the guy who they met at the bar and fucked in their 3 bed semi! But I know the person I loved will remember me forever even if that’s not a good thing for her anymore.

What do the things you a-crew really matter in the long term? I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor….. my grandkids won’t differentiate will they?

I guess I’m done ranting…. I can’t spend to much time whittling away at this when let’s be honest with the life style I’m living I’m unlikely to make it through 2018 let alone to old age.

As always be kind to each other and try to leave that mark (even if it’s just going on a mental killing spree…. fuck it you’d still make the news).

Love to you all x

P.s. please don’t actually go on a killing spree.

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