Would child you be ashamed of the sell out you are now?

When you were a kid did you want to be an astronaut? Rock star? Doctor? A fucking dinosaur (you were a fucktard if you wanted to be a dinosaur).

What did you end up being? Well no one has been to the moon in years and I bet you’re not a trex so not the first or last suggestion. But was it what you always wanted? Did you follow your dreams or did it scewif along the way? Did you make a few tiny compromises that led to big plan changes?

If you did follow your dreams…. you are fucking awesome! I did…. at least one of them but I’ll get back to it soon. Was it what you thought it would be?

I’m sorry but I just can’t believe that many young children dreamt of being a HR advisor or a cold calling phone sales worker…. FUCKING COLD CALLERS…. YOU ASSHOLES (love you really…. sort of). So why are you doing it? Is it your dream now? Do you love it? Orrrr are you grinding away what little life you have left in your fleeting glimpse of existence doing something that you don’t and never wanted to do.

I dreamt as a child of being a fireman, I did that (more luck than judgment) I realised later on that it wasn’t how I imagined it would be, I realised that the movies and fireman Sam were liars… I actually feel fucking betrayed by that pontypandy asshole fireman Sam.

If I had decided upon doing something else would I have followed that dream or would I still be riding the engine disappointed at the anticlimactic reality of this situation?

They’re are all hypotheticals I guess but it’s an interesting thought. Is it to late? I mean I don’t see “teen detective” on my career list anymore but maybe some of these other childhood dreams are?

What about the rest of your life? My personal life is pretty fucking deplorable to be honest, I’ve hurt most of the people I care about and I’ve truly broken some people I cared about the most…. would teen Matt feel like I was a “top lad” or far more likely would I feel sadness at where my life would lead me.

I guess at this point life has to be about making sure that in 15 years I’m not looking back and thinking the same thing. Let’s be honest sometimes you have to learn the hard way and im unbelievably talented at fucking things I love up.

Love you homies stay strong.

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